The latter twist was, I thought, just as ill-timed as ― and much more ill-considered than ― the eviction theme. But even Dolly Parton can’t save this holiday movie on … Imagine evicting your hairdresser right before she’s about to go at you with a comb and a straightening iron. It’s a Sucret.” Where did y’all find joy, if at all, in this musical? Christine Baranski serves up some Scrooge-like holiday cheer in the form of ... eviction notices. In case you somehow missed this, Dolly Parton has been out here saving the world in 2020. But the rest is its own thing. Once the halfway point of the movie arrives, dramatic reveal follows dramatic reveal, with crucial details left unexplained. Three HuffPost reporters are here to tell you all about it. She plays Regina Fuller, the dame who arranged the sale of the town and spends the opening numbers blithely handing out eviction notices to shop owners, kids and dancers. Credit: Netflix Of course, there’s a reason for Regina’s coldness, a tragedy from her … It has color cover and proper artwork on disc. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square Not rated. Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square isn't quite up to its star's standards, but its overwhelming good cheer and campy self-awareness may be just what viewers are looking for. You really have to pay attention because ... there are so many twists and turns. Dolly, thank you. I feel embarrassed to even be evaluating her work! Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square follows Regina (Christine Baranski), an embittered businesswoman who returns to her hometown to notify the residents that she’s selling the town to a conglomerate that will force the townsfolk to move and turn the land into a mall. CF: My hair follicles flinched in sympathy. But I do want to talk about the music. But the rest is its own thing. Dolly Parton as Angel in 'Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square.' Imagine someone singing to you at a salon while you’re trying to relax with cucumbers on your eyes. Lewis really took out her frustration on Baranski’s wig. But is “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” any good? Given the delightful news that the promising COVID-19 experimental vaccine from Moderna was funded in part by a $1 million donation from Dolly Parton, “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” Illustration: Ivylise Simones/HuffPost; Photos; Getty Images, Netflix, Every moment is Dolly Parton’s moment, but it’s never been more true than this week. Sign up for membership to become a founding member and help shape HuffPost's next chapter. And “Christmas on the Square” is a drunk. Early on, the high-volume zaniness of the predictable made-for-TV holiday movie tropes offered an undeniable camp factor. Premiering Sunday, “Christmas on the Square” tests whether the holiday-TV-movie industrial complex can handle maximal musical-theater cheesiness. Their early scenes aren’t quite a cage match, but you could certainly use them to brine a turkey. She’s not only funding the development of a new COVID-19 vaccine, she’s dropping a Christmas movie musical ― which she co-produced, composed, and performs in ― on Netflix to keep us all entertained through a lonely, cold holiday season. Perhaps because both of them could do no wrong in my book. It’s the sort of bad that sets itself in a town that is doomed to become a mall, yet already has the peppy wink-wink of an Old Navy commercial. Then there’s the matter of Dolly Parton herself. It seems like none of the performers (aside from Baranski and Lewis, who are seasoned enough to survive the script’s silliest impulses) realized they were making a movie and not a stage production. Christmas on the Square (full title Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square) is a 2020 American Christmas musical film directed and choreographed by Debbie Allen. In this case, that relentless inoffensiveness gets stretched to its breaking point. I also must have blinked when the storyline with the little Black girl and her father. Netflix’s peppy holiday musical has a campy streak and original songs by the country star, who plays a homeless angel with lessons for the town Scrooge. They just lack hooks. Parton did the music. “Campy” is camp with a diploma and a martini. I didn’t love any of the songs. Her songwriting is enjoying swiping a little of everything from the music buffet: Rodgers and Hammerstein, treacle, Ike and Tina. By James Kleinmann . But she knows when to slow down and take in a scene, as she does with a couple of the ballads, like a duet between Baranski and a kid tending bar, who winds up in a last-act medical crisis. Yes: It’s a child separation subplot, complete with a heartbroken young mother crying out in anguish as her baby is taken away forever. “Don’t be the queen of mean!!”. MJ: It seems like none of the performers (aside from Baranski and Lewis, who are seasoned enough to survive the script’s silliest impulses) realized they were making a movie and not a stage production. Baranski is a chilly queen (“Regina” could not be a more fitting name for her and her Antoinette-esque character), and Lewis matches her with a fiery turn as her betrayed best friend from childhood. EE: I didn’t love any of the songs. Wait, I made it this far without mentioning that Regina’s also having a medical crisis?! Dolly’s whole brand is designed around appealing to everyone. “Margeline, don’t even argue, ‘cause even though we’re friends who have grown up here together, here’s a notice to vacate and a notice to relocate. Regrettably, I think it can. So I was IN for all the hijinks. Can music, magic and memories change her mind? CF: Yes, this movie seems engineered to test whether a Christmas musical can be too corny. NETFLIX Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square is a movie with a brick strapped to the accelerator — and you’ll love every insane second. In Netflix’s ‘Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square,’ Regina (Christine Baranski, left), who has been trying to evict townspeople, is visited by an angel (Dolly Parton). It’s also got Treat Williams, as Regina’s impossibly single old flame, still burning for her and ready with a song about why she’s wrong: his Christmas shop is not a room full of junk. Who wouldn’t love Dolly singing about Christmas? EE: If you want a cute Christmas musical, go watch Netflix’s “Jingle Jangle” instead. It’s the first of many, many, many things in this movie that make little sense. I don’t want to go into it too much here so people can just watch for themselves. I’d skip this one. Once the halfway point of the movie arrives, dramatic reveal follows dramatic reveal, with crucial details left unexplained. The results are mixed, to say the least. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square 2020 7+ 1h 38m Family Features Seasonal cheer comes to a screeching halt when a cold-hearted woman tries to sell her hometown's land. This scene brought me to tears, and not in a good way; the framing, in fact, is that this crime should be forgiven and forgotten because it was committed with good intentions. Any joy I found came in the first half of the movie, before the narrative took a running dive off a cliff, trailing broken plot threads behind it. Neither does Parton’s homeless angel. She’s got cloudy tuffets to perch on and manners to teach Scrooge-y Regina. The duet between Baranski and Lewis in the hair salon definitely did catch my attention though and is at least memorable. Complete 2020 Musical Movie. Find out in Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square coming to Netflix on November 22, 2020. Directed by Debbie Allen. In this economy? No wonder they all want to stay. ©2021 Verizon Media. Now there’s a lot going on in Fullerville, so I had to sit for a second to reorient myself while watching this because it very much gives you over-the-top TV-movie-musical vibes. And just a few years ago in 2016, the Dollywood Foundation donated $1,000 a month to several hundred East Tennessee families who lost their homes during wildfires. We made it easy for you to exercise your right to vote! I have tried my best to keep from repeating it in every paragraph. ‘Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square’ Review: Holiday Winks. They’re not even Parton bronze. Watch on Netflix. The duet between Baranski and Lewis in the hair salon definitely did catch my attention though and is at least memorable. Yes, this movie seems engineered to test whether a Christmas musical can be too corny. It’s “Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la Land.”. I’d skip this one. Perhaps because both of them could do no wrong in my book. Running time: 1 hour 38 minutes. I think what really got me is how much story gets crammed into 98 minutes, mostly explained via painfully expository song lyrics. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. And not just any old hairdresser, but your childhood friend, as we are told first in a line of dialogue and again 10 minutes later in song. It is definitely not the kind of musical that works as background noise while you’re, say, washing the dishes. MJ: And not just any old hairdresser, but your childhood friend, as we are told first in a line of dialogue and again 10 minutes later in song. You’re right, Claire, that nothing can rob Dolly of her songwriting credentials; she’s one of the best in the business. Funding the COVID vaccine will remain Dolly’s greatest contribution to my holiday cheer. And the storyline — a mean lady coming to a town to evict everybody in the dead of winter in Fullerville because the Cheetah Mall conglomerate wanted to build a mall — just was ... a lot to digest. It also stars Christine Baranski, Treat Williams, and Jennifer Lewis. But she’s nothing if not earnest, and I wonder if the too-muchness of “Square” risks trying the patience of even the most open-minded Christmas junkie. You’re right, Claire, that nothing can rob Dolly of her songwriting credentials; she’s one of the best in the business. Everyone is operating at an 11 when a 6 would have sufficed. Have we described this movie as “a lot” yet? It’s ... a lot? You’re right. It’s the first of many, many, many things in this movie that make little sense. CF: This truly signals the collapse of plot coherency. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square. From the opening number, a jaunty ensemble performance set in the titular square, I quickly realized that what I was in for was a little bit Hallmark, sure, but also a little bit “Schitt’s Creek”-meets-Broadway. Every moment is Dolly Parton’s moment, but it’s never been more true than this week. Regina, a modern-day Scrooge, has to explore the horrific consequences of her selfishness and revisit the tragedy that closed her heart. The results are mixed, to say the least. The next is Regina, a Trumpian spin on Ebenezer Scrooge, distributing eviction notices to children. Who else would bother describing what a mess really is by pronouncing the word so that it sounds like ‘car accident’? The latter twist was, I thought, just as ill-timed as ― and much more ill-considered than ― the eviction theme. Dolly needs no defense of her songwriting chops; this woman wrote “Jolene” and “And I Will Always Love You” in one day! Don’t be late.” The woodwinds rise in hungry mischief to meet each “ate.”. News to me. Today is National Voter Registration Day! This truly signals the collapse of plot coherency. No wonder they all want to stay. But man, Fullerville was just full of drama. The whole movie proceeds in this spirit of barbed earnestness. I don’t want to go into it too much here so people can just watch for themselves. Debbie Allen did the bodies — the Ailey-isms and breakdances and swiveling in the pews. The two men who start vogueing just look like they modeled for Sears. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. “Girl, you think you’re so fierce,” sings Lewis. Everyone is operating at an 11 when a 6 would have sufficed. There’s a church-bound sequence in which Christian and his parishioners rail against Regina’s heartlessness, and somebody sings that “She’s cold as a witch’s —,” before everybody practically gasps and sings past her. All rights reserved. What else should we expect from a movie involving a woman whose million-dollar donation to medical research reportedly resulted in a Covid-19 vaccine? Starring Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski, Treat Williams and … Singing a ballad about the haves and have-nots, she appears to be green-screened into the aforementioned square, possibly because Dolly Parton does not go anywhere without flattering lighting equipment — even when she is supposed to look homeless. MJ: It’s one of those things that is so well-intentioned and harmless you sort of feel bad dinging it. I feel like the wickedest witch of the middle of my apartment for daring to have critiques. EE: So the first time I watched this, I fell asleep in the middle and woke up at the end very confused about Regina talking about “my son.” I was too exhausted to fully accept that this is where the movie had veered off into yet another storyline. Singing a ballad about the haves and have-nots, she appears to be green-screened into the aforementioned square, possibly because Dolly Parton does not go anywhere without flattering lighting equipment — even when she is supposed to look homeless. All of her pessimism and corporate ruthlessness is apparently rooted in that moment. At some point, Regina serves Margeline, the beauty shop owner (and ex mayor) who’s played by Jenifer Lewis. Allen’s camera is as overcaffeinated as her choreography. Have a Holly Dolly #Christmas2020 with this Netflix holiday musical featuring 14 original songs by #DollyParton. Selah Kimbro Jones as Violet in ‘Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square’. What they are, though, is committed to the task at hand: some percentage of wit, wisdom and attitude that every number seems to call for and with double the amount of exposition. On Tuesday, September 29, Netflix announced their newest holiday title, Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square, which is streaming as of November 22.The much-anticipated movie is directed and choreographed by Debbie Allen, a three-time Emmy and Golden Globe winner, not to mention the actress who portrays Catherine Avery on Grey’s Anatomy.. Oh, and the flashback happens while she’s getting a CT scan to see if she has a tumor. CF: Quirky is right. I couldn’t help but think about the measly $1,200 Americans received in the last eight months. You gotta push that all away to try to enjoy a bit of the quirkiness of this. She just doesn’t care. All of her pessimism and corporate ruthlessness is apparently rooted in that moment. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square will launch globally on Netflix on Sunday November 22nd 2020. 'Emily in Paris' Is As Boring And Basic As A Sponsored Instagram Story, ‘The Undoing’ Is Unoriginal But Highly Watchable, There's A Whole Lotta Girl Power On 'The Boys' Season 2. I feel embarrassed to even be evaluating her work! So I was IN for all the hijinks. RIGHT. But it’s also dark! The logistics of the arrangement are too fabled to grasp. Before I start receiving nasty grams from Dolly Parton fans, please know that I’m actually a fan of Dolly Parton’s music and I’d love to visit Dollywood someday. Even on the second watch, I found myself asking, “HOW DID WE GET HERE?”. Quirky is right. Musical film Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square stars Parton alongside Mamma Mia actress Christine Baranski, and it’s already been declared as … It’s so jarring that it feels impossible not to discuss, so, SPOILER ALERT: Late in the movie, we learn that Regina became pregnant as a teenager and was forced to give up her infant. Plus, an elementary schooler can bartend without a license. At Regina’s hair appointment, Margeline lets her friend have it with a gospel number that leaves some ripostes for Regina. Then, I found out Debbie Allen, one of my faves, was directing. This is a Christian undertaking, and Parton’s lyrics have the declarative navigability you need to learn a lesson. WATCH: Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski, Jenifer Lewis Discuss Christmas on the Square The new Netflix movie is directed and choreographed by … My hair follicles flinched in sympathy. Imagine evicting your hairdresser right before she’s about to go at you with a comb and a straightening iron. Erin E. Evans is senior enterprise editor of culture at HuffPost. Just from the standpoint of economy, it’s a miracle. An embittered "Scrooge" of a woman plans to sell her small town, regardless of the consequences to the people who live there. Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski. Parton’s too self-deprecating to pat herself on the back but just self-amused enough to know an angel when she sees one. But she’s taken seriously enough for that pastor (Josh Segarra) to lead the resistance and for people to start packing moving boxes. Well, she is. She gifted us with a new Christmas album, holiday sweater line, and bakeware.She donated money to help develop a … MJ: There’s even a gauzy “Christmas Carol”-style flashback in which Regina watches her father give the baby up for adoption, finally understanding that he did so in her best interest. Evictions, really? With Dolly Parton, Jenifer Lewis, Josh Segarra, Jeanine Mason. We have on our hands the sort of knowing bad that names a pastor Christian. I suppose I found joy in a song called “Wicked Witch of the Middle,” in which the townsfolk gather in a church to do a round-robin ditty about Regina being the wicked witch of Middle America. “Who would do this to people during the holidays?” Christian asks and she tells him, “Rich people who get tax breaks.” Regina don’t play. It doesn’t matter. CF: Any joy I found came in the first half of the movie, before the narrative took a running dive off a cliff, trailing broken plot threads behind it. The Sucret line is cute! Three HuffPost writers weigh in on the Netflix film. “Guess I don’t need a needle to get my ears pierced,” deadpans Baranski. But everyone has ups and downs in their oeuvre, and I have to admit that most of the songs felt pretty flat to me ― warbling ballads and energetic choruses that chugged along dutifully until enough exposition had been laid out and the scene could end. Pastor Christian Hathaway (left, played by Josh Segarra), Jenna Hathaway (Mary Lane Haskell) and Regina Fuller (Baranski) talk about resistance to Regina’s plans. CF: Funding the COVID vaccine will remain Dolly’s greatest contribution to my holiday cheer. Jenifer Lewis? (Netflix) Not content with co-funding a vaccine in the middle of a pandemic—no, really, that’s a thing she just did—Dolly Parton just finally put out a seasonal television event that she appears in for longer than five minutes. dolly parton's christmas on the square (l to r) christine baranski as regina and jeanine mason as felicity in dolly parton's christmas on the square cr. Dolly Parton rescued a child actor from getting hurt on the set of her new Netflix movie “Christmas on the Square." Regina, a modern-day Scrooge, has to explore the horrific consequences of her selfishness and revisit the tragedy that closed her heart. The next is Regina, a Trumpian spin on Ebenezer Scrooge, distributing eviction notices to children. Region 0 - Plays in every country, any DVD player. Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski and Jenifer Lewis? Subtitles: English, French, Spanish, Deutsch, Italian. You really have to pay attention because ... there are so many twists and turns. But is “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” any good? Anybody who prefers their entertainment spiced, spiked, salted, smothered and smoked might have been waiting for Baranski vs. Lewis. I have never really appreciated the movie musical, and “Christmas on the Square” exemplifies the primary reason: The camera brings the viewer right onstage, where we end up staring closely at broad emoting and ensemble dance numbers from a much closer vantage point than the genre was designed for. What were your initial impressions? The actress stars as an angel in … But everyone has ups and downs in their oeuvre, and I have to admit that most of the songs felt pretty flat to me ― warbling ballads and energetic choruses that chugged along dutifully until enough exposition had been laid out and the scene could end. I will say there were a couple lines in it that made me laugh out loud, like Dolly’s delivery of, “First of all, that’s not an emergency button. Their little ditty felt vampy in a way that I can appreciate. The Bottom Line. Who wouldn’t love Dolly singing about Christmas? It’s nonstop entertainment! Plus, an elementary schooler can bartend without a license. SPOILER ALERT: Do not read if you have not yet watched “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square,” streaming now on Netflix. On Thursday, Netflix dropped the first trailer for Parton's Christmas on the Square and it's as stuffed full of festive fun as a stocking on Christmas morning. But she’s nothing if not earnest, and I wonder if the too-muchness of “Square” risks trying the patience of even the most open-minded Christmas junkie. The Sucret line is cute! It’s bad, the sort of bad that knows what it is — campy rather than camp. Imagine someone singing to you at a salon while you’re trying to relax with cucumbers on your eyes. CF: It’s nonstop entertainment! If the documentary on Dolly Parton left you wanting more, this movie premieres Sunday November 22 on Netflix. But I do want to talk about the music. Baranski is a chilly queen (“Regina” could not be a more fitting name for her and her Antoinette-esque character), and Lewis matches her with a fiery turn as her betrayed best friend from childhood. But man, Fullerville was just full of drama. But it’s also dark! Netflix released the film on November 22, 2020. Erin, that was one of the few effective jokes in the script. Dolly Parton is no newcomer to holiday flicks, and last year released a Hallmark film called “Christmas at Dollywood,” so I thought I knew what to expect from her latest, “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square.” Matt, Erin, I was wrong. Dolly Parton is bringing her country music charm to Netflix once again with the holiday movie Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square.. Beginning Sunday, November 22, viewers can catch Parton … DOLLY PARTON’S CHRISTMAS ON THE SQUARE is an entertaining, fun musical on Netflix about a small, vibrant, diverse town threatened by a wicked real estate woman. Lewis really took out her frustration on Baranski’s wig. So yes, the movie has more stretches than a yoga class. She starts out homeless, in gray rags, singing in the center of town about the power of togetherness, wagging her box for change at people too busy doing back flips and jetées to notice. "On Oct. 2, [Parton will] release A Holly Dolly Christmas, which will include both holiday classics and originals — and duets with Michael Bublé, Willie Nelson and her goddaughter Miley Cyrus — and mark her first album for 12Tone Music Group (which licenses the music from Parton’s own Butterfly Recordings)," Melinda Newman announced in a recent Billboard cover … Regrettably, I think it can. When you purchase a ticket for an independently reviewed film through our site, we earn an affiliate commission. She’s not only. Well, that’s not new, but no one’s actually in drag. Oh, and the flashback happens while she’s getting a CT scan to see if she has a tumor. Dolly, thank you. The new film stars Dolly Parton, Christine Baranski, Jenifer Lewis, Treat Williams, Jeanine Mason, Josh Segarra, is directed and choreographed by Debbie Allen, and features 14 original songs by Dolly Parton. Their little ditty felt vampy in a way that I can appreciate. In about five minutes, “Christmas on the Square” resolves the fate of the town, an adoption mystery, both health problems and everybody’s contempt for Regina. She’s an angel in every sense of the word and in her Christmas movie, Dolly Parton’s Christmas On The Square, she was literally one. And for the first 40 minutes, she, Parton and the screenwriter Maria S. Schlatter keep it all humming with the campy swish you need for a romantic-musical-family-tragedy holiday comedy. There’s even a gauzy “Christmas Carol”-style flashback in which Regina watches her father give the baby up for adoption, finally understanding that he did so in her best interest. Then, I found out Debbie Allen, one of my faves, was directing. Promotional Video DVD, This is not an official release. Dolly plays an Angel, there are 14 original tunes. Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square will be available to stream on Netflix on November 22, 2020, and it’s painful to watch. The songs aren’t Parton gold. Before hitting play, I knew I was gonna be in for a ride. A lot of “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” bears some resemblance to the familiar — greeting cards, mulled cider, Dickens, Velveeta. I realized “Christmas on the Square” would defy all assumptions at the first sight of Dolly’s mildly smeared eyeliner, tattered gray outerwear and stringy bangs. “Don’t be the queen of mean!!”. So pour yourself a stiff eggnog or two, surrender to the cheesiness of it all and it might just inspire you to decorate that tree. The basic plot: Cold-hearted Regina Fuller (Christine Baranski) has recently inherited this charming town from her father and is serving eviction notices at Christmas so that she can sell it to a mall conglomerate. EE: The pregnancy story, in particular, really came out of nowhere for me. Erin, that was one of the few effective jokes in the script. It is definitely not the kind of musical that works as background noise while you’re, say, washing the dishes. A beauty shop that basically doubles as a drag ball? A lot of “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” bears some resemblance to the familiar — greeting cards, mulled cider, Dickens, Velveeta. 'Dolly Parton's Christmas On The Square' Is, Well, A Very Quirky Holiday Musical. For me, the forced adoption scene was rock bottom ― any other lowlights for you two? CF: You’re right. It’s one of those things that is so well-intentioned and harmless you sort of feel bad dinging it. The best scenes in the film being the two-handers between Parton and Baranski. If you want a cute Christmas musical, go watch Netflix’s “Jingle Jangle” instead. “Dolly Parton’s Christmas On The Square” is a new movie musical premiering on Netflix on November 22, 2020. Matthew Jacobs: I realized “Christmas on the Square” would defy all assumptions at the first sight of Dolly’s mildly smeared eyeliner, tattered gray outerwear and stringy bangs. The town’s pastor spearheads a resistance campaign, while Dolly ― an angel who walks among the townspeople disguised as a glamorously made-up panhandler ― tries to change Regina’s heart. She’s also the director. Yep, I wrote it. The film … Can music, magic and memories change her mind? Three HuffPost reporters are here to tell you all about it. It’s the sort of bad that Christine Baranski can captain to yachtdom. Dolly Parton is back on Netflix with Christmas on the Square, a new holiday musical that stars Christine Baranski, Jenifer Lewis, Treat Williams, and (of course) Dolly Parton. From the opening number, a jaunty ensemble performance set in the titular square, I quickly realized that what I was in for was a little bit Hallmark, sure, but also a little bit “Schitt’s Creek”-meets-Broadway. I’ll see you when you do my hair tomorrow. EE: I also must have blinked when the storyline with the little Black girl and her father. Early on, the high-volume zaniness of the predictable made-for-TV holiday movie tropes offered an undeniable camp factor. Movie musical “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square” will premiere Nov. 22 on Netflix. EE: I have tried my best to keep from repeating it in every paragraph. For me, the forced adoption scene was rock bottom ― any other lowlights for you two? Her scenes are spent guiding an angel trainee and giving Baranski the evil eye along with the withering folksiness that is Parton’s specialty as a movie star. I feel like the wickedest witch of the middle of my apartment for daring to have critiques. A mall, really? Seasonal cheer comes to a screeching halt when a cold-hearted woman tries to sell her hometown’s land. (It’s a Christmas miracle!) Erin Evans: Before hitting play, I knew I was gonna be in for a ride. Dolly Parton's. It’s so jarring that it feels impossible not to discuss, so, So the first time I watched this, I fell asleep in the middle and woke up at the end very confused about Regina talking about “my son.” I was too exhausted to fully accept that this is where the movie had veered off into yet another storyline. Tap dancing and tango at the bank? In this case, that relentless inoffensiveness gets stretched to its breaking point. By the end of this thing, she’s virtually the deity at the end of “Angels in America,” full of vinegar instead of vengeance. It’s a testament to the sheer overstuffedness of this movie that I forgot about the “possibly fatal tumor” subplot. I have never really appreciated the movie musical, and “Christmas on the Square” exemplifies the primary reason: The camera brings the viewer right onstage, where we end up staring closely at broad emoting and ensemble dance numbers from a much closer vantage point than the genre was designed for. Dolly’s whole brand is designed around appealing to everyone. It’s ... a lot? EE: RIGHT. I suppose I found joy in a song called “Wicked Witch of the Middle,” in which the townsfolk gather in a church to do a round-robin ditty about Regina being the wicked witch of Middle America. Premiering Sunday, “Christmas on the Square” tests whether the holiday-TV-movie industrial complex can handle maximal musical-theater cheesiness. Have we described this movie as “a lot” yet? Even on the second watch, I found myself asking, “HOW DID WE GET HERE?”. CJ: It’s a testament to the sheer overstuffedness of this movie that I forgot about the “possibly fatal tumor” subplot. Dolly needs no defense of her songwriting chops; this woman wrote “Jolene” and “And I Will Always Love You” in one day! Claire Fallon: Dolly Parton is no newcomer to holiday flicks, and last year released a Hallmark film called “Christmas at Dollywood,” so I thought I knew what to expect from her latest, “Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square.” Matt, Erin, I was wrong.

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